its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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