About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
