Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
