You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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