Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
