That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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