ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
wanna go halves on a baby?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
