i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
