I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
