so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
