when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
