All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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