Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
