jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
a search helicopter?!
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
