I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
