glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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