so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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