Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
