hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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