Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I am spending my child support on dildos
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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