Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize