my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
