So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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