dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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