i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
