that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
