I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
