my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
