took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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