I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
My pussy is not your playground.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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