Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
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Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
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He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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