I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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