4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
