she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
