Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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