is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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