Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
