Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
it was like his penis was on wheels.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
