I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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