i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize