no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
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You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
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She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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