who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
