get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
