I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
