I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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