Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
