You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
