We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
