I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
