He had one of those small greek statue penises
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
