I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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