Pregnant stripper...not hot.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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