i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
