was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
