just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
