I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
