You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize