And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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