Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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