in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
