What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
