You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
wat bout pragnant strippers??
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
