His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
where am i from again
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
