Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
