absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
