ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
