How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
